Happy Mother's Day

I never understood a mother's love until I became one. My heart feels like it will explode from so much love for that child some days. I can only imagine what it must be like to love us three for more than half of your lifetime. And when we get on those planes and fly far away, we know your heart hurts. You are so brave. Your patience and perseverance I think of often and they give my heart strength. I hope to be that way too. Thank you Mom. You are a vessel of God's grace in my life. May you continue to enjoy the rewards of motherhood.

Happy 4th Anniversary Shawn!

Happy Anniversary to my dear husband! Marriage vows are hard to do, but His grace is sufficient for our weakness and his love and yours covers a multitude of my sin, and your such a good forgiver Shawn David Evans. Your hands work long hours to love us with provision and your words and affection, they swell our hearts big with joy, and your never ceasing to say, "let's pray," and how you read us His enduring Word, they nourish our souls. For all this and more I respect you and love you. "Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness" Psalm 115:1

Who is the Greatest? An Encouragement to Mothers and Caregivers

Our society has conditioned us to seek status. In our culture this is most often sought through a career - Professional athlete, Doctor, Professor, etc. It is no wonder mothers who have chosen to give up or put less priority on their career (at least for a time) in order to devote themselves to the care of their children are mentally demoted in status. I still find myself fumbling clumsily and shyly to explain (more like justify) that I have chosen to stay home with Karis and not return to full-time work outside the home. I'm so quick to throw in, "but I'm still working from home a few hours," as to try to elevate my status in the hearers mind. It's here again that Christ's confronts our heart attitude and shatters our worldly values for those of His kingdom.

Mark 9:33-37

³³ And they came to Capernaum. And when he was in the house he asked them, “What were you discussing on the way?” ³⁴ But they kept silent, for on the way they had argued with one another about who was the greatest. ³⁵ And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” ³⁶ And he took a child and put him in the midst of them, and taking him in his arms, he said to them,³⁷ “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.”

My ESV Study Bible commentary shed some light of these verses that I found so applicable to motherhood (I respect and acknowledge the many other applications this can be made to - teachers, nurses, social workers, etc)

"The attitude of heart Jesus is teaching does not even overlook a lowly child (at times marginalized in ancient societies) but receives, and thereby cares for, such a little one in Christ's name. In contrast to the status-seeking of the disciples in verse 34, Jesus is showing them they should be willingly take on lowly, often unnoticed tasks and care for those who have little status in the world...Humbly caring for people of lowly status out of obedience to Christ ("in [his] name|") will be rewarded by rich personal fellowship with both the Son and the Father."

So an encouragement for mothers and caretakers whose days are filled with unnoticed, meanial task of changing yet another dirty diaper, cleaning up the 20th meal of the week, hauling fussy kids and heavy pounds of groceries through the snowy/slushy grocery store parking lot, your work if done in and for Christ is not only highly valued in God's kingdom economy, but it will also be rewarded by rich personal fellowship with Him! Those who have tasted this sweet fellowship know that no amount of zeros on the end of your pay check or letters behind your name can give your soul this type of satisfaction and joy.

Happy Birthday Precious Karis

One year ago your little 8 pound presence changed us forever, bringing our hearts and little home unspeakable joy. There you are precious and small, an extension of our love.
And although those first few months were rough - unruly hormones maybe, or unseen battles in the heavenlies - yet our God was a shield all around us, and tears and fears He turned to dancing, faithful even from your first year. So we praise Him there in the rocking chair, nursing you for what seems like the millionth time, you drinking nourishment from mamma and I drinking up the precious moments I have with you in my arms and the faithfulness and loving-kindness of our God.

And I prayed for you this first year - prayed that you will know Him, really know Him. That you will see and savor Christ and courageously and lovingly make Him known in all your world. There in your room I've plastered some of the Living Word I pray will be you - my reminders to fight with this double-edged sword for you.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matt. 22:37)

This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.”(Isa. 66:2)

Stand firm in the faith; be [a woman] of courage; be strong.” (1 Cor.16:13)

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart,and do not lean on your own understanding” (Prov. 3:5)

How we love you Karis. We see the gift that you are to us, and our heart dances with joy to the gracious and wonderful Giver of all good gifts. Happy 1st Birthday precious daughter.

The Lust for Clean and Order

Today I woke up once again to a few routine demands - baby wanting to breastfeed, baby wanting breakfast, kitchen that was screaming, "Clean me up!!," the 4th load of laundry from yesterday still in the dryer, a pail of dirty diaper needing to be washed, and a teething fussy baby constantly pulling at my pj's to be held. This was just a start, and before I could shake off the grogginess or pour a cup of coffee, I began to feel irritated and frustrated over all this. After Karis went down for her morning, I sat down to pray and pull myself together, I began repenting of my irritation, discontentment and ingratitude over the many blessings that brought on these demands. The unmade beds, the loads of laundry, the messy kitchen floor - all these are signs of life! People live in this house! People I love. Oh, how I am grateful for that. It is my lust for constant cleanliness and order that cause my irritation. As much as wanting and having a clean house is good, it shouldn't lead me to sin. I forgot who said something to the effect of "it often isn't our desires that are bad, but it is wanting them too much that is bad." Our hearts can make anything into an idol.

Then I think of my elderly neighbour whose house is intact. What she wouldn't give to have all these messy signs of life invade her home. She tells me how lonesome she is regularly. I repent again for my ingratitude.

So I pray for grace to see each mess and chore as an opportunity to give God thanks. Only God can do this in me. I pray that he would purge the dross of selfishness and self-pity from my heart, so that I can be a clean vessel fit to be used by Him. Help us Lord.

Rivalry and Who Makes the Bed

Recently in attempt to motivate ourselves to keep our commitment to rise early, I proposed to Shawn that last one up had to make the bed. This seemed innocent enough, and maybe our motives where - I'm not too sure now. It doesn't take long though to see a divisive spirit creep into a little game like this. It soon became more about me wanting Shawn to make the bed, so I didn't have to instead of rising early to be a better steward of my time, and so honor God.

I was reading Philippians 2 today and came across that familiar, but profound and challenging verse: "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others." (vs.3-4). I realized that I had been acting out of rivalry and looking out for my interest instead of those of my husband. I was allowing a seemingly innocent thing to subtedly bring divisiveness into my marriage, instead of working with all my might to keep a spirit of unity with Shawn as the verses preceding these call me to. All we do in marriage should be building unity, not division. I am not my husband's competition, I'm his completer. We are a team and everything we do, significant and insignificant, should be done in a spirit of unity and selflessness.

Merry Christmas

It's been a delightful Christmas season for me.

Not because I've done a lot of shopping or decked the halls or attended a gajillion Christmas parties. I've done little or none of these.

The delight has really come from the simplicity I've been intentionally seeking after this season. Trying to free myself from coveting gifts I don't need and just focusing my gaze on Christ and the fact that God of God came to dwell among us. And not as an end in itself, like one of our elders posted here, but to live a perfect life and die in my place - to a absorb the righteous punishment from God for me. To bring peace between me and God and to make Him my greatest joy. As John Piper says, Christmas is really the beginning of the end. The end of the great redemption story. Thinking on this has been the source of a wonderful Christmas season.

And lest you think my heart never grows dull. It does. Unmoved at times by the familiarity of the story. Yet my feelings don't change the weight of this marvelous truth. I keep looking to Christ, asking for grace. Grace to understand more fully and feel the full weight of all the implications of the incarnation.

May you know and treasure this good news of great joy. Merry Christmas!