Happy Birthday Precious Karis

One year ago your little 8 pound presence changed us forever, bringing our hearts and little home unspeakable joy. There you are precious and small, an extension of our love.
And although those first few months were rough - unruly hormones maybe, or unseen battles in the heavenlies - yet our God was a shield all around us, and tears and fears He turned to dancing, faithful even from your first year. So we praise Him there in the rocking chair, nursing you for what seems like the millionth time, you drinking nourishment from mamma and I drinking up the precious moments I have with you in my arms and the faithfulness and loving-kindness of our God.

And I prayed for you this first year - prayed that you will know Him, really know Him. That you will see and savor Christ and courageously and lovingly make Him known in all your world. There in your room I've plastered some of the Living Word I pray will be you - my reminders to fight with this double-edged sword for you.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matt. 22:37)

This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.”(Isa. 66:2)

Stand firm in the faith; be [a woman] of courage; be strong.” (1 Cor.16:13)

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart,and do not lean on your own understanding” (Prov. 3:5)

How we love you Karis. We see the gift that you are to us, and our heart dances with joy to the gracious and wonderful Giver of all good gifts. Happy 1st Birthday precious daughter.

The Lust for Clean and Order

Today I woke up once again to a few routine demands - baby wanting to breastfeed, baby wanting breakfast, kitchen that was screaming, "Clean me up!!," the 4th load of laundry from yesterday still in the dryer, a pail of dirty diaper needing to be washed, and a teething fussy baby constantly pulling at my pj's to be held. This was just a start, and before I could shake off the grogginess or pour a cup of coffee, I began to feel irritated and frustrated over all this. After Karis went down for her morning, I sat down to pray and pull myself together, I began repenting of my irritation, discontentment and ingratitude over the many blessings that brought on these demands. The unmade beds, the loads of laundry, the messy kitchen floor - all these are signs of life! People live in this house! People I love. Oh, how I am grateful for that. It is my lust for constant cleanliness and order that cause my irritation. As much as wanting and having a clean house is good, it shouldn't lead me to sin. I forgot who said something to the effect of "it often isn't our desires that are bad, but it is wanting them too much that is bad." Our hearts can make anything into an idol.

Then I think of my elderly neighbour whose house is intact. What she wouldn't give to have all these messy signs of life invade her home. She tells me how lonesome she is regularly. I repent again for my ingratitude.

So I pray for grace to see each mess and chore as an opportunity to give God thanks. Only God can do this in me. I pray that he would purge the dross of selfishness and self-pity from my heart, so that I can be a clean vessel fit to be used by Him. Help us Lord.

Rivalry and Who Makes the Bed

Recently in attempt to motivate ourselves to keep our commitment to rise early, I proposed to Shawn that last one up had to make the bed. This seemed innocent enough, and maybe our motives where - I'm not too sure now. It doesn't take long though to see a divisive spirit creep into a little game like this. It soon became more about me wanting Shawn to make the bed, so I didn't have to instead of rising early to be a better steward of my time, and so honor God.

I was reading Philippians 2 today and came across that familiar, but profound and challenging verse: "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others." (vs.3-4). I realized that I had been acting out of rivalry and looking out for my interest instead of those of my husband. I was allowing a seemingly innocent thing to subtedly bring divisiveness into my marriage, instead of working with all my might to keep a spirit of unity with Shawn as the verses preceding these call me to. All we do in marriage should be building unity, not division. I am not my husband's competition, I'm his completer. We are a team and everything we do, significant and insignificant, should be done in a spirit of unity and selflessness.